Bloopers
by Weinerdog of Death and Doom
Summary: Random bloopers that I made up, may contain SPOILERS. Some yaoi here and there. Fun poked at everything and everyone. A bit of naughty language. Rating may go up to T depending on my words. GOING TO BE UPDATED SOON I BLAME SCHOOL
1. Sync And His Crash Nets

Uh... okay, just random bloopers that I made up that may or may not have spoilers... probably will. For various parts.

Disclaimer: If I owned, Tales of the Abyss would be a yaoi game. Since we can probably safely assume that in the classic sense it is not, you can therefore assume that I don't own it. Sadly.

**TODAY'S BLOOPER:** In Which Sync Has A Little Moment

Features a clumsy **Guy**, a rather OOC **Sync** who loves his crash nets, **the director** attempting to smooth things over (attempting), **Tear** resurrecting people, **Jade** deciding that Sync's temper is too hot and needs cooling down (hint: O frigid blades, pour forth!) and being sarcastic-tastic! -has decided that that is a word now-. Written when I was high.

_**Spoilers: When you fight Sync in the core**_

Takes Place: on the **Tartarus.**

_Note: ALL battle quotes/artes taken from GameFAQs (gamefaqs. com/ console/ ps2/ file/ 929343/ 45774) If the URL doesn't show up, search "tales of the abyss walkthrough" on google, click on the first link and go down the list of "general faqs" until you find "battle quotes"._

**Guy:** Raging Phoeni-- AH! -falls off side with sword out- OUCH...

**Sync:** AH! YOU BROKE MY CRASH NET!

(Note: For those of you rather confuzzled at this moment, this is sort of an AU during the shooting of the game, kind of like bloopers in movies. That settled, Sync would not want to fall off the edge of the ship into molten lava, so he had a crash net. That may make things a little more clear)

**Guy:** WELL I fell off the side of the ship AND I kind of had my sword out! It was a little difficult not to!

**Sync:** YOU BROKE MY CRASH NET! YOU BASTARD!

**Director**: Sync, calm down. You can just get a new crash net--

**Sync**: NO! THAT ONE TOOK ME SEVERAL YEARS TO MAKE! IT'S FIT SPECIFICALLY TO ME!

**Guy:** Sync, it's re--

**Sync:** NO IT'S NOT! YOU BROKE MY CRASH NET! -goes into Over Limit- CAN YA TAKE THIS?

HARROWING GALE! NOW YOU DIE!!

**Guy:** OW OW OW OW OW OW OW--

Note: Guy's HP is now at 0

**Guy: **I screwed up...

**Sync:** Hmph.

**Tear:** Return this soul from the abyss of death. Resurrection!

**Guy:** Thanks I--

**Sync:** -goes into Over Limit again- Now you die! Haaaaa! Akashic Torment!

**Guy: **GAH!

**Director:** Sync... Sync... SYNC! You can stop killing Guy now...

**Sync:** HE BROKE MY CRASH NET...

**Jade: **Seems we're losing. Or rather, seems you're loosing, Guy.

**Guy:** I kind of noticed! AH!

**Sync: **Take this! Stone Dragon Ascent!

**Guy:** -running around in circles- Free Run is my friend. Free Run is my friend. Free Run is my friend.

**Jade:** -sighs and does that Jade thing with his glasses- Oh what a bother. O frigid blades, pour forth! Icicle Rain! (Note: I don't care if he doesn't have that one at this point in the game... he does now!)

**Sync: **I'll kill you!

**Guy: **O noble conflagration! Incinerate all! Razing Phoenix! -DOESN'T FALL OFF THE SIDE THIS TIME . -

**Note: **Sync's HP is now at 0

**Sync: **No...! Not like this...

**Note: Battle ended**

**Guy: **We're not playing around either.

**Director: **-sigh- All in a days work... somebody tie that psychotic replica up and Guy? You have to fix his crash net before he wakes up.

**Guy: **Why me?

**Tear: **Because you're the one that broke it.

**Guy: **Aw, come on...

**Director: **Go steal one of Dist's fon machines or something and use that to do it.

**Guy: **-gets those little lines above his head like he does in the room with all the fontech- Really? I wouldn't get in trouble for it?

**Director: **Well maybe from him, but if we get Jade to explain to him that it was so that Sync didn't have another Little Moment and kill us all, he might--

**Jade: **Personally, I doubt that even that simple cause-and-effect statement would have no effect on him.

**Director: **Nobody asked for your opinion. Guy--

**Guy: **-has already left to go steal one of Dist's fon machines-

**Director: **Nevermind... YOU! SHUT OFF THAT CAMERA!

And there is the product of my insanity. Sync loves his crash nets. Next week: In Which Jade Eats Too Much Sugar

R&R please!

-WdDD

(For who can separate the truth from lies and delusions?)


	2. Jade On High

Well, here we are! Another week, another blooper!

Disclaimer: If I owned, Tales of the Abyss would be a yaoi game. Since we can probably safely assume that in the classic sense it is not, you can therefore assume that I don't own it. Sadly. However, these bloopers do belong to me and I will shoot you if you take without permission.

**TODAY'S BLOOPER: **In Which Jade Eats Too Much Sugar (Or: In Which Luke Gets A Well Deserved Trouncing From A Hyper Colonel)

Features: A hyper **Jade**, a rather beaten up **Luke, **and a **mystery character** from another show. Again, **Tear** resurrecting people.

**Spoliers:** Uh… uh… none really…

**Jade:** WAHAHAISHALLUSEMYAMAZINGBRAINTOTAKEOVERTHEWORLD!!  
**Luke: **Jade…? Are you-- -notices the empty candy wrappers- OH SHIT!  
**Jade:** AN INTRUDER! Bring all to ash and ruin! Explosion!  
**Luke: **GAH! –battle grunts that I'm not going to transcribe-  
**Jade: **Hee hee hee… sugar… -giggles maniacly-  
**Luke: **Did you just giggle?  
**Anise: **Wow Colonel, you're sure in a good mood!  
**Jade: **WAHAHAHA I SHALL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!  
**Guy: **He sounds like Dist.  
**Jade: **-eyetwitch- DIST?! I DO NOT SOUND LIKE DIST! HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO DIST! I AM WAY BETTER THEN DIST!  
**Guy: **That's just proving my point.  
**Jade: **HEY! IWANTMORESUGAR!  
**Guy: **Who gave him sugar in the first place?

**Tear:** Uh.. I.. I did.. he seemed so upset that I thought that maybe something sweet…

**Anise: **Ooooohhh you're in trouble now Tear! Wait. The Colonel was upset?"  
**Jade: **-playing a video game and giggling- Heeheehee… I'll get you Dist…

LATER

**Jade: **-runs past in pink military uniform with a miniskirt-  
**Luke: **JADE! WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?!  
**Jade: **Uh…  
**Luke: **WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT?!  
**Jade: **-points at… dun dun dun… **ROY MUSTANG** FROM FMA-  
**Luke: **Wha… who's that?  
**Roy: **I'm--  
**Me: **HOLD IT! –points at Roy- WHY ARE YOU HERE?! THIS IS THE WRONG SHOW! THE WROOONNNNG SHOW! WRONG GAME! HOW DID YOU EVEN GET HERE?!  
**Roy: **…-shrug-  
**Me: ** And… JADE WHY ARE YOU WEARING A MINI—Never mind… Anyways…  
**Jade: **HE MADE ME…  
**Roy: **He looked like a girl!  
_(Note: The authoress does not watch or play FMA, this current thing was suggested by one of her friends. It is obvious by Roy's chracterization)  
_**Jade: **-pout-

**Roy: **-walks off-  
**Luke: **Uh… Jade…? That outfit's for girls…  
**Jade: **…Heehee… Imma gonna scare Dist.. –giggles-  
**Luke: **Well, that's one way to kill him…  
**Jade: **SHUTUP! –uses Mystic Cage-  
**Note: Luke's HP is now at 0  
**

**AND THUS IT ENDS…**

**BECAUSE**

I HAVE NO TIME… SORRY ABOUT THE SHODDYNESS… I'LL DO BETTER… 

Next time that is. Anyways, onto the important stuff. I'm going to be gone for a week, so I won't get any updating done until week after next. I'll do better for then though! Kay, that's all for now!

-WdDD


	3. CUT

_**CONTAINS SPOILERS**_

**NOTE: CONTAINS YAOI AND AN ODD PAIRING. BLAME THE CIDER.**

**Blooper Name: **CUT!

**Pairing(s): **SyncxGuy, IonxSync, LukexAsch, DistxJade

**Summary: **Well… basically 3 shorts. OOC characters, again. Sync gets drunk, Dist gets pwned by Jade's awesomeness, Asch finds out about waxed floors. We wish we were kidding.

**Spoilers: **1 and 3 take place on Eldraunt, the dialogue is exact… until it isn't. And 2 is Dist's final battle

**ON WITH TEH STORY!**

**Cut No. 1: Sync Loves Guy**

_Sync Final Battle, Eldraunt_

**Sync: **A second-order hyperresonance… you've got to be joking.

**Anise: **Sync!

**Sync: **Even with Yulia's divine protection, power like that could harm Van. You have two choices. Hand over the Key and join Van, or die.

**Luke: **I choose neither! I'm freeing Lorelei. And to do that, I will defeat Master Van… and you!

**Anise: **Sync, you're a replica, just like Ion! Why are you helping a project like this?!

**Sync: **I'm not like him. You know that. Ion… the second Ion was a naïve child. He believed the Score was merely one possible choice for the future. But in the end, he couldn't oppose the Score. Fon Master Ion will die. That was the planet's memory. Your Ion died like a dog.

**Anise: **Take that back! Now!

**Sync: **No. It's the truth. But Van's plan will destroy Lorelei itself, and the Seventh Fonon. The Score will truly vanish.

**Guy: **Do you really hate the score that much?

**Sync: **-twitches- GAH I LOVE YOU GUY!!!!!!!!!! –screams and clings to Guy-

**Director: **CUUT! Sync, I told you not to—Sync, you can let go of Guy now.

**Guy: **Can't… breathe...

**Sync: **Guy 3

**Cut #2: Dist and Jade**

_Dist Final Battle, Tower of Rem_

**Dist: **Ah hah hah hah! You could wait a millennium and such a day would never come!

**Tear: **Stop!

**Dist: **I'm afraid I—

**Jade: **-throws random spear at Dist's chair-

**Chair: **Phzzzzzt! –falls-

**Director: **CU-- -squished by Dist's chair- --ut… ow…

**Cut #3: Asch and the Waxed Floor Of Doom That We Can Blame On Sync Who Is A Secret Yaoi Fangirl—Fanboy.**

_Asch Final Battle, Eldraunt_

**Luke: **I don't even have a past to loose, but I've still decided that I'm me! It doesn't matter what you think. Here I am. If that's the source of the strength you're talking about, then I won't loose.

**Asch: **Well said. I will make those words your last, replica! –runs at Luke… skids on floor- WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH –crashes into Luke-

**Luke: **AH! –falls over-

**A/N: **AWKWARD POSITION ON FLOOR…

**Luke: **…eep… -blush-

**Director: **CUUT! Save the mating rituals for later!


End file.
